We're nowhere

I'm reading Dan Willingham's latest book, When Can You Trust the Experts?, and enlightenment struck in Chapter 6.  Educationally, we are in the Dark Ages.

There is no truth in education, "experts" believe theirs is the only way, and all other ways are harmful.  No one understands why anything happens, everything is speculation and guessing.  We have not defined what goes on in a classroom, and barely scratched the surface of the question of how a person learns.  Individual teachers can achieve brilliant results, but those results are almost never duplicated.  Teachers learn their craft by copying the techniques of experienced elders.  Charlatans abound with substandard and/or irrelevant "studies" selling high-priced programs that yield paltry results.

This is exactly like early medicine.  No one understood anatomy or the causes of disease (many believed it came from smell).  Even after the invention of the scientific method in the 1600's, research was mostly haphazard until the 20th century.  Doctors learned from more experienced colleagues by copying their methods.  Self-proclaimed "experts" traveled around selling miracle "cures" for every ailment.

The practice of medicine got a lot better; maybe there's hope.

What? Who, me?

I am working at a new school this year, and steadfastly refusing to fall in love with it. (Why? That's another post.) Which is a good thing. Yesterday, three older elementary students started a food fight at lunch. What do you think happened next?

Accountability is Only for Adults

The three students sat, together, for the rest of the lunch period. That's it. No trip to the principal's office (one of the offenders was the principal's kid!), no suspension, no phone calls home (for the other two), nothing. Their teacher talked to them, but that's it. Two hours later those same three kids disrupted my entire class. Which earned them another talking to, but again no consequences, no punish, nothing.

This. This is what is wrong with American education. Kids who do not learn their stupid actions lead to unpleasant consequences grow up to be entitled, lazy, whiny teenagers and adults.

When I Come to Power - In Service Week

The annual opening of the professional development (a.k.a. teacher in-service week) season has come and gone.  And with it, another tiny piece of my soul.  Why is it universally accepted by all administrators that the week before school starts should be filled wall-to-wall with the most boring, useless theoretical drivel known to man presented in a fashion guaranteed to cure the worst insomnia?

K.I.S.S. Professional Development
When I come to power, the week before school starts will not be filled with high-priced lecture-circuit "workshops" on the latest, greatest educational fads.  Instead it will be practical and short.  First aid training, how to work the copy machine and computer network, use and location of all important forms and equipment.  Read the faculty handbook and master calendar on your own please.  The rest of the week is yours to prepare your classroom, write lessons, and talk with fellow teachers about the coming year. 

It's a cheap and cheerful alternative to in-service.  Thus it will never, ever be adopted.

Special Ed Files: Bassackwards

I read a music teacher forum post today. A poor woman was seeking advice on how to handle to special ed kids with IEP's who breakdown when hearing music or handle music making objects. Her admins told her that she may not be able to use music at all in the classes with these students. She wanted advice on how to help these two kids in a group of average students, whether she can be forced to change her entire curriculum to accommodate two students.

Whoa!!! Hold on!! Stop the tape! Did you catch that?

A music teacher is being told to refrain from using music in a MUSIC class!!!!

How is that supposed to work? How on God's green earth can you teach a subject without ever using it?! Can you teach math without using numbers and numeric words? Can you teach reading without using print?

Without music, it ain't a a music class anymore. It's a history and/or a science class, and a really crappy one at that.

Thought of the Day

Over on Mr. Teachbad's blog, a commenter wrote of a Teaching Fellow who implemented every program/technique/theory he had learned pre-service.  And given them up by October 1st.  This got me wondering:  Is this why 50% of teachers leave the profession in the first five years?

Think about it.  You get a year or more of job training, get a job in that field, and then discover in the space of 6 weeks all the training is worthless.  Wouldn't that be just a wee bit crushing to one's psyche?  You have placed your trust in these professors, these experts, to prepare you to excel, and yet here you are in the tall weeds.  The normal person would indeed blame themselves, become convinced they're no good and seek employment elsewhere.  But the reality is the so-called "experts" are anything but; they've sold you a bill of goods.

Destroying the lives and dreams of young adults, just another reason to despise everyone involved in organized teacher-training.

Teacher Indoctrination

In this lousy economy, the sword of Damocles hangs above every music teacher's head. And since I do have this irrepressible urge to pay my bills on time, I have been working on adding an endorsement to my license. One piece of the process involves taking an online class.

You Can't Teach What You Don't Know

Oh sure, all my classmates sing the praises of teaching critical thinking all day long, quoting Bloom's chapter and verse. That's all well and good, but I can guarantee that their students won't get anywhere near learning how to think. Why? Because these teacher-classmates cannot think themselves! They accept all knowledge at face-value, and spout back whatever the readings and professor have said. I am the only person in the class who has the temerity to question readings, reference outside sources, identify poor and outdated theories, and point out bad arguments. Questioning, integrating other research, applying logic, these are the hallmarks of critical thinking. After six weeks of parroting, it's obvious my classmates have no clue. How do they think they can teach something they themselves cannot do? Oh, yeah, that's right: They don't think.

Prologue 4: The Rules

I am not shy to admit it: My intellect is above average. Not far above, I never would have made it at MIT or CalTech, but sufficient. And through the years, I have worked assiduously to maximize my gifts by reading widely and consorting with really intelligent people.

Rule #4: Do Try to Keep Up

First and foremost, I'm writing this to amuse myself. Also to record certain events, characters, and ideas before they fade from memory completely. References to art, history, culture, politics, science, mythology, and goodness knows what else will litter this blog. I'm not going to stop and explain them; you are free to look things up. Denigrating intellectualism has become an American game, one I refuse to play.

Prologue 3: The Rules

I am a certified, working teacher and have been so for a number of years. While I doubt I'll ever earn a cushy state pension, I do have a keen interest in paying my bills each month.

Rule #3: Based on Real-Life Events

The last guy who wrote an education blog based on reality, Mr. Teachbad, was outed and then fired. I love Mr. Teachbad and still read his blog, but do not want to follow in his footsteps. So my first concern is to protect my real identity. While all the events are true and all the characters are real, certain aspects time and location will be either omitted or obfuscated. Some of stories will belong to my teaching friends and colleagues, and I only bore witness to them. Here is one incontrovertible fact: I am a music teacher.

Prologue 2: The Rules

Once upon a time, I wrote long, weepy, self-indulgent blog posts. Not anymore. I hate reading the stuff (because hardly anyone is capable of writing a coherent thought), so I vow to eschew it in my own writing.

Rule #2: Again, Half as Long

A title, a 3-4 sentence introduction, one medium-long paragraph, and that's it. Short, simple, tightly written. If you want verbosity, I highly recommend Russian literature. But I will develop my themes over consecutive days, weeks, months or years. Ever read Doonesbury? Trudeau thought of one joke for the week and told it five different ways. I might do that. Or not. Unlike Dan Carlin, I might actually repeat myself. And I reserve the right in perpetuity to change my mind with or without warning and with or without cause.

Prologue 1: The Rules

Why do we need yet another blog about education? Because I need a space to pontificate, and I'd like to pretend other people are interested. However, this blog will be a little different. Like any good classroom, there are rules around here.

Rule #1: No Hugging, No Learning

If you are looking for inspirational stories – look elsewhere. If you are looking for stories of children overcoming tremendous adversity – look elsewhere. If you are looking for stories of teacher discovering how much her students can teach her – look elsewhere. Because this is reality, not a Lifetime movie. A reality no one wants you to see, where hugging can end careers and lessons are generally ignored.