A couple of year ago, my ex-professional organization, MENC (Music Educators National Conference) decided to go corporate and rebrand itself. (The whole idiotic process reminded me of the second season of Slings & Arrows, except without the happy ending. Anyway, moving on.)
Included in that process was a name change to, wait for it: NAfME (National Association for Music Education). Pronounced "nahf-mee."
Excuse me? What was that? "Nahf-mee?" Surely, they were joking! "Nahf-mee" sounds like a skin disease. See that red, scaly rash on my elbow. I went to the dermatologist yesterday and he said it was nafme. If I use this $400 skin cream for eight weeks, it will go away.
No, they weren't joking. What's worse is their official explanation of their choice:
"NAfME was chosen to reflect the organization’s 100-year history
and because NAME is already used by a number of organizations.
The new logo incorporates the “f” as a forte music symbol.
Most people are very positive—it’s not anything that should
have been done frivolously, and it definitely wasn’t. It was a decision made by the members, not staff.” --Elizabeth Lasko, assistant executive director of NAfME’s Center for
Members and Constituency Relations.
Whoa there tiger! "A decision made by the members?" I wasn't made by me or any of the then-member music teachers I know in-life or online. In fact, all of the online ones (myself included) expressed shock, disbelief, and derision when the change was announced. I would love to document that conversation with a link, but MENC -- excuse me -- NAfME, when updating their user forums, decided to delete all the old posts. (A decision so stupid it deserves it's own post.)
Back to the topic at hand. You decided to change a perfectly serviceable name just so that you could incorporate a musical symbol into it?! A symbol, I might add, that no one will recognize in print and is impossible to discern orally?! What kind of Dilbert-esque organization is this anyway?
P.S. To the MENC -- excuse me, NAfME -- intern who runs the mass mailings: Take my name off your list. There is no way on God's green earth that I am rejoining your organization.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Friday, March 21, 2014
Polishing the Crystal Ball
I am cutting edge, and believe you me, I ain't proud of it. Music teaching jobs are being outsourced right, left and center around here. Instead of hiring another teacher, districts farm out music education to a private company. Said private company hires a team of teachers, provides them with lessons and materials, and sets them loose as traveling minstrels.
Let me tell you it's a shitty way to live. The hourly rate looks good on paper, but the reality is they give you very few teaching hours. Granted, I don't pull recess or car line duty, but I also only get paid for when I teach. (Breaks and traveling between campuses is not compensated.) There are no benefits, let alone job security. And, yes, I still have to go to staff meetings. And, yes, said staff meeting are so fatuous as to defy description. ("If a student is misbehaving, you should not look him because it'll put him on the spot and make him feel bad.")
But mark my words, this is the wave of the future. There are companies (also non-profit) that provide instruction in art, P.E., and even science. Before too long, I'll bet ones will spring up for social studies, computers, foreign language, and math. Or maybe they have already.
Soon school districts won't hire teachers anymore. They will contract with these companies to provide all student instruction.
Teachers: The new call-center worker.
Let me tell you it's a shitty way to live. The hourly rate looks good on paper, but the reality is they give you very few teaching hours. Granted, I don't pull recess or car line duty, but I also only get paid for when I teach. (Breaks and traveling between campuses is not compensated.) There are no benefits, let alone job security. And, yes, I still have to go to staff meetings. And, yes, said staff meeting are so fatuous as to defy description. ("If a student is misbehaving, you should not look him because it'll put him on the spot and make him feel bad.")
But mark my words, this is the wave of the future. There are companies (also non-profit) that provide instruction in art, P.E., and even science. Before too long, I'll bet ones will spring up for social studies, computers, foreign language, and math. Or maybe they have already.
Soon school districts won't hire teachers anymore. They will contract with these companies to provide all student instruction.
Teachers: The new call-center worker.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Everyday Reality
An interesting conversation took place a few weeks back.
I asked the combo class teacher, "Are you guys doing fractions like the other classes yet?" I wanted to demonstrate the relationships between the lengths of musical notes.
"We just got a taste of it this week."
"Okay. I'll do my demonstration, and give them a little more exposure." And we proceeded to show how an eighth rest is half of a quarter rest, a quarter rest is half of a half rest, and a sixteenth rest is half of an eighth rest. At which point, the recess bell rang.
I was packing up, the teacher told me, "Yeah, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, fractions appeared in our text."
"Are you guys using Everyday Mathematics?" I knew very well they were, but I was being polite.
"Yup."
"Huh, I've read about it, and uh...."
"Yeah, see my eye twitching."
"I get it."
"My best math student told me yesterday, that he didn't get all this dividing fraction stuff."
I left shaking my head.
I asked the combo class teacher, "Are you guys doing fractions like the other classes yet?" I wanted to demonstrate the relationships between the lengths of musical notes.
"We just got a taste of it this week."
"Okay. I'll do my demonstration, and give them a little more exposure." And we proceeded to show how an eighth rest is half of a quarter rest, a quarter rest is half of a half rest, and a sixteenth rest is half of an eighth rest. At which point, the recess bell rang.
I was packing up, the teacher told me, "Yeah, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, fractions appeared in our text."
"Are you guys using Everyday Mathematics?" I knew very well they were, but I was being polite.
"Yup."
"Huh, I've read about it, and uh...."
"Yeah, see my eye twitching."
"I get it."
"My best math student told me yesterday, that he didn't get all this dividing fraction stuff."
I left shaking my head.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Extra Credit: Trying to Make Life Fair
I walked into the second grade classroom at recess, and the teacher
was still there, working on music class name tags. (With 800 - soon to be 900 -
students, name tags are critical.) She was talkative.
"I have a new student, she's coming in from first grade. Despite the fact she's missed half of second grade," the teacher does not sound happy.
"Um, okay. That must make it awkward for things like math," I reply.
"Well, she's pretty good at math. Reading though. She doesn't even read at a first grade level."
"Yikes!"
"Yeah, you just gotta go with the flow sometimes." Exit teacher to lounge.
Reads below a first grade level! The decision to move this student did not come from either the first or second grade teachers. Teachers don't move students reading below grade level mid-year. It came from an administrator. Now administrators don't fuck around with classroom placements mid-year, unless a parent is bothering them.
Now I got a good look at the student in question during music class. Her stature says she's at least seven, maybe eight years old. Undoubtedly, the family moved into the school's attendance area, and the school made its placement based on test scores. The parents, believing all eight year-olds deserve to be in 2nd grade whether they are capable of the work or not, pitched a fit when she was put in a first grade class. The administration, being spineless wimps who believe in equality, caved and left the poor 2nd grade teacher holding the bag.
"I have a new student, she's coming in from first grade. Despite the fact she's missed half of second grade," the teacher does not sound happy.
"Um, okay. That must make it awkward for things like math," I reply.
"Well, she's pretty good at math. Reading though. She doesn't even read at a first grade level."
"Yikes!"
"Yeah, you just gotta go with the flow sometimes." Exit teacher to lounge.
Reads below a first grade level! The decision to move this student did not come from either the first or second grade teachers. Teachers don't move students reading below grade level mid-year. It came from an administrator. Now administrators don't fuck around with classroom placements mid-year, unless a parent is bothering them.
Now I got a good look at the student in question during music class. Her stature says she's at least seven, maybe eight years old. Undoubtedly, the family moved into the school's attendance area, and the school made its placement based on test scores. The parents, believing all eight year-olds deserve to be in 2nd grade whether they are capable of the work or not, pitched a fit when she was put in a first grade class. The administration, being spineless wimps who believe in equality, caved and left the poor 2nd grade teacher holding the bag.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Life Ain't Fair
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,
that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." - The Declaration of Independence (1776)
All men may be created equal, but they do not remain that way. Each individual is continuously changed by the very act of living. Since there are not 7 billion people sitting in my living room right now, it goes without saying that everyone has different experiences and is changed in different ways. Some for good, some for ill. The upshot is, once we start living life, the equal thing goes out the window. Besides, which the Founders had something of a different point in mind when penning those words.
"Good is the enemy of great." - Jim Collins (2001)
Yes, it is. But in modern American education, there is an even bigger enemy: equality. Equality is slowly, inexorably destroying everything it touches in our school system. Like kudzu, or nasturtiums, or ginger beer, equality is creeping into every nook and cranny of education and once it takes root, it is impossible to remove.
In school, every kid must be treated equally. Doesn't matter if the fifth grader cannot add 2 + 2 or is able to solve differential equations, all fifth graders must complete the same math lessons. Doesn't matter if the fourth grader can't read and doesn't know the alphabet, he must attend art and music with his classmates. Too bad the fire marshal said the room can only hold 34 people, everyone who signed up for band must be allowed in the class. Everyone who signed up for AP Biology must be allowed to take the course, and receive a passing grade, regardless of whether they can understand the textbook or not.
If little Johnny is dawdling in class and refusing to work, he cannot be held in at recess to finish because then he is not being given equal access to the playground as other students who complete their work in a timely manner. If little Susie is unable add or read CVC words by the end of first grade, she cannot be held back. She must be passed along to the second grade, otherwise her parents might think she is not being treated as equally as her peers.
All of these are real examples of equality in action in the modern American classroom. The delightful irony of it is: In the end, all this equality turns out students who are most decidedly unequal in their educational accomplishments. In the same graduating class their will be those headed for university and those headed for jail. And just how is that equal?
"The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country — and we haven't seen them since." - Gore Vidal (1975)
Until such time as we can get over this childish notion of equality, we never will.
All men may be created equal, but they do not remain that way. Each individual is continuously changed by the very act of living. Since there are not 7 billion people sitting in my living room right now, it goes without saying that everyone has different experiences and is changed in different ways. Some for good, some for ill. The upshot is, once we start living life, the equal thing goes out the window. Besides, which the Founders had something of a different point in mind when penning those words.
"Good is the enemy of great." - Jim Collins (2001)
Yes, it is. But in modern American education, there is an even bigger enemy: equality. Equality is slowly, inexorably destroying everything it touches in our school system. Like kudzu, or nasturtiums, or ginger beer, equality is creeping into every nook and cranny of education and once it takes root, it is impossible to remove.
In school, every kid must be treated equally. Doesn't matter if the fifth grader cannot add 2 + 2 or is able to solve differential equations, all fifth graders must complete the same math lessons. Doesn't matter if the fourth grader can't read and doesn't know the alphabet, he must attend art and music with his classmates. Too bad the fire marshal said the room can only hold 34 people, everyone who signed up for band must be allowed in the class. Everyone who signed up for AP Biology must be allowed to take the course, and receive a passing grade, regardless of whether they can understand the textbook or not.
If little Johnny is dawdling in class and refusing to work, he cannot be held in at recess to finish because then he is not being given equal access to the playground as other students who complete their work in a timely manner. If little Susie is unable add or read CVC words by the end of first grade, she cannot be held back. She must be passed along to the second grade, otherwise her parents might think she is not being treated as equally as her peers.
All of these are real examples of equality in action in the modern American classroom. The delightful irony of it is: In the end, all this equality turns out students who are most decidedly unequal in their educational accomplishments. In the same graduating class their will be those headed for university and those headed for jail. And just how is that equal?
"The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country — and we haven't seen them since." - Gore Vidal (1975)
Until such time as we can get over this childish notion of equality, we never will.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Update: In the Beginning...
That little boy I wrote about last week? He is indeed fulfilling his destiny.
I was early to class today, the first graders were still doing their morning meeting. Except it was being punctuated by the loud squeaking of rubber on metal. The little boy was rubbing his shoe on a chair leg, wearing a huge grin on his face.
I scowled at him as his teacher ordered him to stop. His grin grew wider. She then tried to physically drag him away from the chair. She was moderately successful; the boy ran out of the room into the rain, saying, "I'm going to go get wet now." Leaving her class with a sing-along recording, she called the office to request help and then monitored the boy (presumably to make sure he didn't run off campus).
The principal came down, dragging the boy with him into the room. The kid promptly escaped into the rain, and the principal dragged him back. There were words, but none were particularly effective, as the rubber on metal squeaking resumed again, along with the "you can't make me" grin. I think they all left the room for awhile, but am not certain, as I gathered up the other students to start music class.
When I left, the boy was back. Not squeaking, but trying to turn over a desk.
I'm so glad not to be that kid's classroom teacher.
I was early to class today, the first graders were still doing their morning meeting. Except it was being punctuated by the loud squeaking of rubber on metal. The little boy was rubbing his shoe on a chair leg, wearing a huge grin on his face.
I scowled at him as his teacher ordered him to stop. His grin grew wider. She then tried to physically drag him away from the chair. She was moderately successful; the boy ran out of the room into the rain, saying, "I'm going to go get wet now." Leaving her class with a sing-along recording, she called the office to request help and then monitored the boy (presumably to make sure he didn't run off campus).
The principal came down, dragging the boy with him into the room. The kid promptly escaped into the rain, and the principal dragged him back. There were words, but none were particularly effective, as the rubber on metal squeaking resumed again, along with the "you can't make me" grin. I think they all left the room for awhile, but am not certain, as I gathered up the other students to start music class.
When I left, the boy was back. Not squeaking, but trying to turn over a desk.
I'm so glad not to be that kid's classroom teacher.
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