Let's Talk About Parents

Elizabeth Weil, writing for the New Republic, claims that nonconformist children are being harmed by modern American schooling.  She was horrified that her daughter's teacher recommended therapy for her chronically disruptive child.  Here is part one of my response:

The reason your teacher recommended OT for your child, rather than disciplining her is simple:  If he had the temerity to punish your daughter for her continual refusal to sit still, you would have beating down the door of the principal's office demanding his immediate dismissal.  No seriously, you *are* that type of parent.  Obviously, you will not discipline your own child and have no tolerance for anyone who does.  For punishing, or, in the PC parlance, following through with "negative consequences," would make your precious out-of-control daughter feel bad.  She might even say one afternoon that she hates her teacher or hates school because she gets in trouble.  And God forbid a child with a behavior problem feel bad when she acts out.  It might harm her self esteem!  It might forever destroy her creativity!!  Or damage her imagination!!!  Or horrors it might make her realize that the entire universe does not in fact revolve around her and cater to her every whim!!!!

It is because of parents like you, who refuse to instill discipline in their children and who fly into a rage any and every time someone else tries to do it for you, that teachers such as I no longer have any means of managing our classrooms.  Your tirades have caused principals to remove every single tool of discipline that teachers possessed.  We cannot even LOOK at your child when she misbehaves, because when we do, she comes crying home to you, claiming that, "The teacher is mean and picks on me!"  Of course, you do not believe it when the teacher tells you what really happened; you believe the fantasy story concocted by your tasmanian-devil child.  You charge into the principal's office the next morning yelling and screaming about the harsh discipline your child has to endure every single day and how damaging it is to her tender psyche.

Your idea that children's lives are messy and loud and chaotic is fine.  Please do all of those things - ON YOUR OWN TIME!  When your child walks into my classroom she does so along with 20+ other children who have the right to learn.  I await them with the right to teach them the academics necessary to survive in the modern world.  Your child does NOT have the right to prevent me from teaching or the other children from learning.  Let me repeat that: YOUR CHILD DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DENY 20+ OTHER CHILDREN FROM GETTING THEIR OWN EDUCATIONS.  If you don't like that fine, go away and homeschool your child.  In the meantime, since it is impossible for me to discipline your daughter I will do everything else I can, including recommending therapy, counseling, and medication.  Maybe if I keep it up, you will get my real message: You need to roll up your sleeves and do the hard work of actual parenting.